A Noise in the Night

I was startled to hear a high pitch cry come belting down the hallway.
Its pretty rare for any of my kidlets to wake up crying once they are all asleep. It's even rarer for it to happen this side of midnight.

I made my way down to the boys' room, expecting Mans' crying to be in protest to Linc getting into his bed. When I walked in, Linc lay sprawled on his bed, snoring his head off. Mans was hysterical.

I assumed he'd had a bad dream, but not being in this situation often I wasn't instantly sure how to calm him. I tried picking him up but in this groggy half sleep he protested and struggled, insisting he be put down. I hugged him and asked if he had a 'booha'. He started sobbing.
And still Linc snored on.

I asked him if he wanted some medicine. 'No!' he wailed.
And still Linc snored on.

He tried to wriggle away from me, so I laid him back down and started to pat his bum, whispering that everything was okay and shosh shosh shoshng him. He stopped crying but still seemed unsettled. He continued to whimper and toss and turn. I thought maybe his 'Monster' cuddly toy was annoying him so I moved him. His wailing kicked off again.
And still Linc snored on.

I couldn't not hold him, regardless of whether he wanted me to or not. I took off my cardigan, lifted him onto my lap and pressed the side of his face onto my bare skin, where he could hear my heart beat. I started rubbing his back, round and round in circles in that age old rhythm that every mother seems to know. He instantly calmed and relaxed into my lap.

Then he let out a massive fart.

It echoed around the room and I actually think it stung my leg.
And still Linc snored on.

I continued to rub, but no more wind seemed forth coming. He seemed calmer and more awake.
He started to feel cool so I asked him "Do you want to hop back to bed now?"
'No,' he whimpered and clung to me even tighter, so I started to rock him.
He was really starting to chill now and I knew there was nothing for it.
"Hop back into bed mate, it's getting too cold. I promise I'll stay until you fall asleep."
I tucked him in and went back to rubbing his back.

Another massive fart reverberated around the room.
And still Linc snored on.

Mans sighed and snuggled into his pillow. As his eyes got heavy, his breathing growing deep and even he relaxed. As a soft 'pffft' drifted from under his blankets, I knew he would finally be comfortable.

As I closed the door on Linc's snoring I realised it was all my fault.
After all, what kind of mother feeds her son bake beans.

Photo taken April 2011

The Art of Silence

We have made some ground on the feeding front.
The battle lines had been drawn but with every tactical move we made, they had a counter attack, depleting our resources and sending us scurrying for cover. Every compromise, bribe and threat was meet with genetically ingrained stubbornness

We tried negotiations but they had been expecting that and seemed to take great joy in our weaknesses.
We sent in a spy but her nonchalant attitude did little to gain us information or their confidence.

So we found ourselves at an impasse. We stalled and many a tactical discussion left us with more questions than we had answers. We knew that this battle was being fought by many other toddler parents, and we tried to learn from their correspondence but nothing seemed to work.

Until, weary and at a lose, we started to simply ignore them.

We started to ignore the antisocial behaviour.
Ignore the food missiles.
Ignore the upturned bowls.
Ignore the war cry "Yuck!"
Ignore the inevitable mess.

There was a cease fire.

We started giving only moderate praise for their offers of friendship.
Well done with your spoon Mans
Good job Linc
What a big boy

As a show of faith we opened our front line, disposing of their restraining toddler chairs and allowing them to sit in 'big boy' chairs. If they request bigger cutlery, they are obliged. They now feel like they have more control and don't need to make every meal into a war zone.

We have come to an understanding and a kind of peace has settle over meal times. Even if they come to the table armed, we have a plan of attack...

...and that's no attack at all.

Wouldn't it be nice if all wars were that simple to settle?

Meet Charlotte

Yesterday a parcel arrived in the post for me.

Inside, wrapped with care was Charlotte.

The lovely ladies at One Red Owl handmade her and posted her to us to love. They have some beautiful handmade goodies. She was only $30 (+ postage). She even came with washing instructions and an owl notebook for me to enjoy.

Eva  took a shining to her as soon as she saw her and the boys ran round the house with her yelling "Hoo! Hoo!"

Another little owl to add to my obsession collection.

Don't Buy Groceries...

...when you're sick and hungry.
Otherwise you come home with things that you don't need.
Like this scrumptious Parmesan and onion sourdough.

Or things you really shouldn't eat, like all these naughty treats.

Not to mention the ice coffee that had already been polished off.
Guess I've got an afternoon of snacking to do. The quicker you eat it, the better it is for you right?

The Musings of a Sick Mummy

Sick mummies watch a lot of TV.
And do a lot of internet surfing.

I suppose it shows my character that it's been trash TV and family 'reality' forums that I've been filling my time with. (Don't hold it against me.) But it's got this mashy pulp I call a brain thinking...

How could a woman knowingly enter into a relationship with a man who is already 'taken'? How could she betray womankind and stoop so low? It must happen often. It takes two to tango.

I'm not removing the blame from cheating husbands/fiances/boyfriends. They go into it with eyes wide open and should shoulder the majority of the blame. But I just can't wrap my head around another woman, knowing a woman's insecurities and what this could do to her opinion of her self worth, could step in and destroy someone's life. Or worse, take away a child's father.

Baker Bob has always said to me I'm a bit naive when it comes to things like street smarts. I'm always willing to give someone the benefit of the doubt, to think the best of them, and I guess this sort of falls into that category. I guess I just don't understand the dark side of human nature.

Does she not realise that once she's settled with this man, has had his children, life going swimmingly, another woman, just like her could come around and implode her perfect little life?

The person cheating and the person knowingly participating need to have a good strong look at themselves. They obviously have some massive charater flaws but its horrible to think what kind of damage two people's decision can do.

Picture from here

Bug Alert

Today I am a quiet mummy
No kisses from this mummy today.
I am sick.
Just a cold but gee whiz!
Every fibre of my body is aching, my head is throbbing and only whispered scratchy words are leaving this throat.
I have to make the trek into my bedroom every time I want a tissue or risk mass carnage when the kidlets get a hold of the tissue box.
And I really can't be bothered.
I had grand plans for the housework today but it really isn't that important to me right now.
All I want to do is crawl into a ball and sleep.

Do you think I should call in sick?

Picture from Google Images

The Ups and Downs of a Bright Sunny Day

I had planned to take the kidlets to the indoor play centre today. The weather was supposed to be terrible and I'd found a different one in our area that I wanted to try out. The toddler area had it's own jumping castle, decent slide, ball pit and it looked pretty clean from the photos online.

But I woke up this morning and the sun was shining. Actually it wasn't just shining, it was beaming. Even better it had no heat to it. So I thought I can't waste this opportunity for them to get some fresh air and a decent intake of vitamin D. Win!

When I volunteered at the Million Paws Walk it was at a park that was a 5-10min drive from our place but I noticed that not only did it have a man made lake with ducks but it had what looked like a fabulous fenced playground.

We throw some warmish clothes on the kids, packed some day old bread into their bag and headed off to the new playground. They loved it and I have to say I was really impressed. Win!

One of the locals told me it was burnt down by vandals recently but they had rebuilt it. Honestly who burns down a children's play ground!

The equipment is suitable for so many age groups and is so big that there's always something for them to do.

There was even a slide that was small enough for Eva to go down by herself. Miss Independent was tickled pink by this and I think I spent about 10mins repetitively lifting her back up to the top of the slide.

She really got involved with the other kids after that, realising she was just one of the yelling, racing banshees hurdling themselves around the playground.

It did start to get pretty crowded though and some of the bigger kids were getting a bit carried away but generally they were aware of the littler kids, if not a bit impatient about it.

After the kidlets had just about worn themselves out, we went on the 5min walk to go see the ducks. I was a bit stressed as there was no barrier between us and the water but they were very well behaved and it wasn't nearly as muddy as I was predicting. Win!

I thought I'd give them a treat and bought mini chicken burgers for them for lunch but silly me forgot to order them without mayo. Fail!

Having had a massive day out, burning up all their energy, I thought the afternoon would be blissfully quiet as they had their naps. Once again life showed me nothing is predictable and the boys fought sleep until 15mins before the 'I give up, there's no point you sleeping now as you have to get up soon" time. (3pm). Fail!

After that war I realised that Baker Bob was making dinner tonight. Win!

What a lovely day spent together, enjoying the sun.

Fabric Toy Food is So Nutritious

I don't even know why I bother feeding them when they are happy to eat the pretend food.
Kind of cute though!

They are sharing the fabric sandwich and milk carton from the Cushy Cafe toy set they got from Grandma and Grandpa for Christmas. Then things deteriorate when Mans keeps one of the slices of bread.

A Compromise or A Lose

Regular readers of this blog may have realised that trying to get Mans and Linc to eat anything decent has become a real struggle. Ever since they turned 2 it's just gone downhill. Slowly more and more food has been put on the 'yucky' list.

I now approch mealtime with type of dread. It all seems a little useless cooking a meal that will feed the 5 of us when I know that 2 will not touch it. (Even if Eva would eat their portion if given the opportunity!) Every single meal I put on their plates are 'yucky' and gets torn to pieces and thrown about the room.

I have tried being the tough mummy. Common threats include it going in the bin, to the dog or worse them being put in the naughty chair. Growling and making the mad mummy face.

I have tried being the sympathetic mummy which includes mummy eating some, bargaining, bribing and being spoon fed. Rubbing their hair, begging, pleading.

I have taken numeral 'professionals' advise and I don't offer anything else. "If they are hunger, they will eat it' But they don't, they really don't. Linc in particular has gone to bed without eating more than one piece of pasta. I'm then greeted at 6am in the morning with 'hungey'. I have told him that's because he didn't eat dinner, but he doesn't understand. The comprehension is just not there.

I also don't offer drinks of milk or diluted juice until after they have eaten the majority of their meal. Until last night. I bought some V8 vegetable juice, diluted it and gave it to them. They drank it with relish. I know it's juice, and I shouldn't let them fill up on fluids but I feel better knowing they are getting some sort of nutrients.

The guilt either way is terrible. I can't win in this game.

A Letter to My Boys

I have had enough.
I have reached my limit.

I am tired of being woken at 6am with high pitched screeching.
No one is trying to murder you, there is no need to make that kind of noise. Is it too much to ask to be woken by a "Mummy!' or giggles? It would make a much nicer start to the day.

I have had enough of the biting, kicking, wrestling, hitting and hair pulling. Whether it's to get me to come, to disable your brother so you can steal his toys or in retaliation for the toy stealing it is inappropriate behaviour and will land you in the naughty chair.

Bread can NOT be your only food source. Every other type of food is not 'yucky' and should NOT be mashed and pulverised before being flung all over the room until it's sprinkled on everything from the walls and floor to the tablecloth and chair covers.

Not every single toy needs to be pulled out and discarded. Or worse, thrown against walls, pulled to pieces and trod on. You are a lot more fortunate than other children. I will happily give your toys away if this behaviour continues. Have some respect for your things. And while we're at it have some respect for MY things too.

The toilet and potty are not scary monsters. You are big boys now. Poo and wee goes into the toilet. Not in your nappy, or in your jocks. And it most certainly does not get 'investigated' while I'm trying to clean you up.

Your little sister has been behaving better than you and I have had it. I really don't understand why this is so hard. I'm a pretty good mummy. Trust me, you could do a lot worse. Please, please, please pull your heads in and stop acting like 2 year olds.

That is all.

Praise Be To The Cartoon Gods

Praise to the smelly, condescending elf/gnome - Noddy.
Praise to the 4 funky, parasitic entertainers - The Wiggles
Praise to the squeaky voiced rodent - Mickey.

Lastly praise to the whacked out writers at Disney, who came up with the idea of pimping out Tinkerbell.

I thank-you.

Without your brilliance in my day I would not be getting any internet surfing housework done.

BTW I learnt how to rotate my video clips!
In no way did I learn this while my children watched junk TV. Honest.

Million Paws Walk

I spent my Sunday morning volunteering at our local Million Paws Walk at President Park Wyndham Vale.
Baker Bob took the kids for the morning and I headed down to lend my support.
Over the course of the day I helped put up 3 marques, I made course markers and then walked the 3km course to hammer them in, took some quick snaps and then throw myself into the sausage sizzle.

There seemed like there was a massive turn out. Lots of gorgeous dogs and their owners.
It was a day full of good fun and lots of money raising!

Betsy Chamberlain, who runs our local Lonely Pets Club, organised the day and I think she did a great job.

Hopefully we raised a bucket load of money to help the RSPCA and all the entrants had a fun day out with their beloved pooches.

I Wish I Could Impulse Buy

Lately my mind has turned to thoughts about redecorating the house. At the moment nothing matches and there are very few things around the place I could actually say are in my style.

I did love my TV unit when we bought it shortly before the boys were born. But now it's not only missing its drawers because they were using them as stairs and one of the runners for the sliding door are broken but it is also totally covered in bite marks. Apparently it's just at the right height for gnawing on.

Hence my dilemma.

I hate my surroundings at the moment but updating them does seem a little pointless. They are all getting a bit older now but are they past the furniture destructive phase? Should I risk it? Or put up and shut up for a little bit longer?

I did come across some gorgeous chairs today. I feel in love instantly.

I can't decide which is my favourite colour (I'll find a place for all of them I swear!) but I'm not so sure they'd look this good if they had cracker crumbs smudged on to them or milk sprinkled and splashed into the fabric.

$599 is a lot to spend on a napkin.

Last Night I Was Out After Dark

I was most unexpectantly surprised by a night out last night. (No one can accuse me of being a vampire. I'm only ever out of the house when it's daylight.)
It had apparently been organised since Mother's Day.
Persumably because I didn't really have a mother's day, whole other blog entry.

Baker Bob got home from work and asked me if the kid's could have an early, simple dinner and then he'd cook us a nice, late dinner. Great I thought. The boys hadn't slept for their nap and Eva has been a bit cranky so an early night for them was a good idea.

While the kids ate I chatted to Grandma, who was waiting to be picked up from work by Grandpa. (Or so I thought). Kid's in bed, Baker Bob leaves to pick up the ingredient's for our special dinner. 5 minutes later he returns with Grandma and Grandpa in tow. I still didn't twig until Grandma annouced "Now that your babysitters are here you guys can go."

In a daze of shock (It's not often people can get away with keeping a secret from me, especially Baker Bob), I was ushered out the door. I had no idea where we were going and when we were half way there I realised that my pants leg and shoulder had half eaten pear smudged into them. Score one for me!

We had dinner at the 'old faithful' Pancake Palour and then popped in to see the movie Source Code. Neither of us knew anything about the movie but I'd mentioned that I wanted to see it during the week because of it's great reviews. (Even the super critical reviewer at the Herald Sun gave it 4 and 1/2 stars!)

It really was an excellent movie. We got home a bit after 12am and we were both exhausted. We said cheerio to the babysitters and fell into bed. Spent and content!

Baker Bob's Super Ice-cream Soda

Thank-you Baker Bob, but you really didn't have to go to so much trouble.

My Fashion Foward Fella

I love the way he's match his green accessories (binoculars) with the yellow flannelet. But I think the shoes make the outfit!

Indulgent Mummy Time

The kids were all napping. They were out.
The house was cold. My toes were frozen.
I crawled into bed with my trashy novel and juiced the electric blanket.
The sun broke through the rain clouds and shone on me.
Warm. Calm. Relax. Lovely.

Family Resemblance

Baker Bob turned 32 yesterday and to celebrate I'm embarrassing him by posting this cute photo from when he was little.

Do you think Mans looks like Baker Bob?

They are almost the exact same age in these photos.
Well at least there's no question that Mans is Baker Bob's and not the milkman's. Linc on the other hand....

Matilda's Mystical Creatures Party - The Cake

I suppose one of my biggest downfalls when it comes to cakes is I hate using RTR (fondant) icing on kid's birthday cakes. I don't think the kid's enjoy it as much as soft butter icing.

I know Matilda's birthday cake would have looked 10 times better if I'd iced it completely in RTR but I couldn't bring myself to do it. This cake was probably one of the hardest I've at to transport with it's swiss roll towers. (For future reference, crumb coating swiss roll is not only a difficult and time consuming task but it is also completely pointless, RTR all the way.)  I was not happy with it but everyone else seemed impressed with it. Especially the birthday girl and her mummy, and that's all that matters right?

Matilda's Mystical Creatures Party - The Fairy Wands

Dannyel (Matilda's mummy) wanted a craft project for the kids to do at Matilda's birthday and keeping with the theme she wanted them to decorate fairy wands.

Now being that all the kids coming to the party were under the age of 4, I was a bit dubious.
Concerned with the craft items ending up in their mouths I thought the best way to combat it was to make the craft items edible. So I made fairy wand cookies and the kids could decorate them with icing tubes and sprinkles.

Using my favourite universal cookie recipe (See below). I cut out star shapes and inserted icypole sticks into the cookie before baking them off.

The kids had a ball and although they spent a lot of the time licking the icing off and then reapplying, what's a kid's party without a bit of a sugar high?

Universal Cookie Recipe
1 cup Margarine
1 cup Sugar
2 Eggs
2 tsp Vanilla extract
3 cups of plain flour
1/2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
Cream together marg, sugar and eggs.
Stir in vanilla, sifted flour, baking soda and salt.
Roll to desired thickness, Cut, Bake at 190C

I have frozen this mixture to use later.
I have dipped them in a glace
Coated them in chocolate.
Mixed coconut in them
Frosted them with lemon icing
There is no limited as to what you can do with this recipe.

Matilda's Mystical Creatures Party - The Set Up

I helped out with Matilda's 1st birthday party on Saturday. It was a Mystical Creatures Party, where everyone was instructed to come in dress up. (Although due to the age of the party guests, the costumes didn't stay on very long).
 It was a group effort.
My tasks included...
Designing the invite, which was saved as a jpeg in 6in x 4in for easy printing at any photo kiosk.

There was the welcome sign...

...Food labels...

... & reasonably waterproof sippy cup name tags.

I also made the birthday cake and the 'fairy wands' for decorating. (More on them later)
I'd like to say thank-you to Liz who made these fabulous 'Bug" cupcakes, (not only do they look good but they tasted yummo.)

Liz also organised the gorgeous decorations that transformed an ordinary backyard into an enchanted garden, suitable for the mystical creatures.

And a MASSIVE thank-you to Trish who organised the delicious and mouthwatering food - in abundance.