I have been feeling an immense amount of pressure lately.
Whether it's actually there, or whether I am just imagining it's presence remains to be seen.
Pressure to keep the house immaculate, pressure to give the kidlets constant attention, pressure to get the highest marks in my course, pressure to serve well thought out and nutritious meals at every sitting.
I can not shake this cold and therefore I'm constantly tired. As a result I'm morphing in to grumpy guts mummy. I have very low tolerance of the usual toddler ways. But I think the kidlets have sensed my low tolerance levels and stepped up their game.
I've had to drop the toilet training as we weren't getting anywhere and I couldn't deal with it while my head pounded and I coughed up a lung. I feel like a failure.
I have an Assessment due in 2 weeks that is worth 40% of my mark. And I'm struggling a bit with it.
The house looks anything but immaculate, on a good day.
A lot of the meal organisation has fallen to Baker Bob, so nutrition is on the backburner.
I have been offered help and accepted it on a occasion. My lovely parents stayed Friday night and put the kids to bed, got up to them when they stirred and woke to them in the morning, making them pancakes.
But it seemed so short lived. I'm hoping once the assessment is finished I can move my focus, but I feel terrible for the state my mothering is in at the moment. Hopefully it doesn't screw them up too badly.