I find that inspiration for blog entries tends to strike when I'm breastfeeding and although it kind of defeats the purpose of blogging I thought scribbling them down and typing them up later could kill two birds with one stone. I would be able to update my blog more often and it would make the time while breastfeeding go faster. Thinking let alone scribbling is not an option when trying to breastfeed with Mans and Linc climbing all over me but after their bed time, the time spent breastfeeding can really drag. (I do love 'bonding' with her but she's such a slow feeder).
Right off the line we hit a snag. It seems Eva doesn't want me to be distracted while she dozes on and off at the breast. However, I persevered and we seem to have come to a compromise. I won't accidently suffocate her while she eats if she doesn't wiggle around too much.
Having sprouted extra limbs to cope with 3 under 14 months, the logistics of writing while feeding isn't an issue. However Eva has gotten really big and really heavy. She seems massive and on Monday I got my suspicions confirmed. She's as big in weight and height as Linc was at 8 weeks! (She's 5 weeks) It feels wonderful to know that the breastmilk is actually doing what it's supposed to be doing this time around but I couldn't help feeling slightly disappointed.
I maybe paranoid for thinking this but I really didn't want my little girl to be bigger than her brothers. It just doesn't seem fair. There is so much importance put on a girls' sizes that I stress that she's is going to be teased. I really want to portray to my kids a positive body image, to be confident in who they are but even at this early age I can't help but worry. Is that wrong? And as my mum pointed out to me, if the size difference doesn't change, by the time she's 18 months they will probably be mistaken for triplets. Is that going to be a positive thing for them or have adverse effects?
We're getting lots of lovely responsive smiles and she's started making more noises than just different pitches of crying. She is adorable, most of the time and I love her to pieces. She's fit, healthy and happy. If I could just change society's views then I think I might actually be able to relax. How many years do you think that will take?
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Don't you hate it when...
Don't you hate it when you finally get the baby to sleep and you start stressing that somethings wrong. (Why is she sleeping so soundly? I did nothing different to all the other times... there must be something wrong!)
So you poke and prod the baby, trying to get some kind of reaction to indicate that it's alive and breathing and you wake the poor little thing. Then you spend the next 2 hours kicking yourself for being so paranoid only to do the exact same thing next time.
It's a vicious pattern!
So you poke and prod the baby, trying to get some kind of reaction to indicate that it's alive and breathing and you wake the poor little thing. Then you spend the next 2 hours kicking yourself for being so paranoid only to do the exact same thing next time.
It's a vicious pattern!
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Birth of a Diva
I have said it once and I'll say it again. I don't do pregnancy well. (In fact on the 14th of April I have an appointment to get some very long term, if not permanent contraception underway.) I was totally not prepared for a diagnosis of gestational diabetes this pregnancy. I thought that pre eclampsia was on the cards again, particularly after developing the high blood pressure at 15 weeks but I quickly got that under control (and the iron and vitamin D issues) with a little rest and much to my surprise was diagnosis with gestational diabetes at 30 weeks.
My fasting reading came back high and no matter what I did with my diet or exercise, I could not get it under control, so I went onto slow release insulin of an evening.
Then at 33.5 weeks I went into early labour. I was having contraction 3-5 mins apart. I was admitted and had numeral swabs and tests done. My cervix was still closed and there was no sign of the labour indicative protein. Soon my contractions calmed down and I was sent home. The contractions continued. Sometimes only barely noticeable, other times bone shakingly painful and at 36 weeks she had dropped into my pelvis and I thought my waters broke. This too was a false alarm and I was sent home.
But as my due date ticked closer and closer I knew they were going to start putting the pressure on me to have a c/section. It got to 37 weeks and it was decided at the growth scan that she was over 4.25kgs and at high risk for shoulder dystocia. I would not have been able to live with myself had I made the decision to go ahead with a VBAC for my own 'selfish' reasons and caused her to have a paralysed arm for the rest of her life, or worse be deprived of oxygen because she got well and truly stuck. Regardless of the fact that I was skeptical of her measurements.
The sonographer said it was hard to measure her as her head was deep in my pelvis and her tummy was under my ribs. But I had to make a decision. My OB even said that if I went in to labour prior to my booked c/section date that they would perform an emergency c/section due to the perceived risk. So after two false labours and constant "take your breath away" contractions, I was booked in for a c/section on the 24th of February.
The morning of the c/section was calm. (Unlike the morning of the boys'). I felt remarkably well rested. We were due at the hospital at 6:45am so we were up before sunrise. I finished packing my bag, finished off the boys' big brother t-shirts and waited for my parents to arrive to baby-sit. I was a little emotional that we had to leave before the boys woke up but I tried not to let it get the better of me and we hit the road. I was second on the production line but when the first lady chickened out, we were bumped up to first.
The anesthetist initially couldn't find the right spinal space and after 3 attempts I finally started to go numb and I was laid down and made presentable for Baker Bob to join us. The drape went up, Baker Bob was led in and I was sliced and diced. When it came time to get her out, there was a bit of a hiccup. She wedged in my pelvis. (I kept telling my OB she felt like she was going to fall out.) They had to get a pair of forceps around her head and we waited with baited breath.
Baker Bob was so excited to see a shock of dark hair appear he forgot to take a photo of her being born. I had to remind him to start taking photos. She weighed 3932gms and screamed her little lungs out. She was wrapped and we had a cuddle. Then my spinal block started to wear off on my right side.
I could feel them stitching me up. They quickly injected with some drug and I almost instantly passed out. I couldn't keep my eyes open, I couldn't talk or lift my arms and Baker Bob and Eva were ushered out of the room.
About 10mins later, having recovered my senses, I joined them both in recovery were I got to give Eva her first breastfeed, something that was denied me with the boys. Both Eva and my blood glucose levels were completely fine after her birth and we were due to go home 3 nights after the c/section.
I missed the boys dreadfully while in hospital even though I saw them everyday, but it was nice to have some one on one time with a newborn. Emotionally, logistically and physically it felt a lot easier. She was a brilliant baby in hospital, placid and content. That all changed when she got home but that's another blog entry!
My fasting reading came back high and no matter what I did with my diet or exercise, I could not get it under control, so I went onto slow release insulin of an evening.
Then at 33.5 weeks I went into early labour. I was having contraction 3-5 mins apart. I was admitted and had numeral swabs and tests done. My cervix was still closed and there was no sign of the labour indicative protein. Soon my contractions calmed down and I was sent home. The contractions continued. Sometimes only barely noticeable, other times bone shakingly painful and at 36 weeks she had dropped into my pelvis and I thought my waters broke. This too was a false alarm and I was sent home.
But as my due date ticked closer and closer I knew they were going to start putting the pressure on me to have a c/section. It got to 37 weeks and it was decided at the growth scan that she was over 4.25kgs and at high risk for shoulder dystocia. I would not have been able to live with myself had I made the decision to go ahead with a VBAC for my own 'selfish' reasons and caused her to have a paralysed arm for the rest of her life, or worse be deprived of oxygen because she got well and truly stuck. Regardless of the fact that I was skeptical of her measurements.
The sonographer said it was hard to measure her as her head was deep in my pelvis and her tummy was under my ribs. But I had to make a decision. My OB even said that if I went in to labour prior to my booked c/section date that they would perform an emergency c/section due to the perceived risk. So after two false labours and constant "take your breath away" contractions, I was booked in for a c/section on the 24th of February.
The morning of the c/section was calm. (Unlike the morning of the boys'). I felt remarkably well rested. We were due at the hospital at 6:45am so we were up before sunrise. I finished packing my bag, finished off the boys' big brother t-shirts and waited for my parents to arrive to baby-sit. I was a little emotional that we had to leave before the boys woke up but I tried not to let it get the better of me and we hit the road. I was second on the production line but when the first lady chickened out, we were bumped up to first.
The anesthetist initially couldn't find the right spinal space and after 3 attempts I finally started to go numb and I was laid down and made presentable for Baker Bob to join us. The drape went up, Baker Bob was led in and I was sliced and diced. When it came time to get her out, there was a bit of a hiccup. She wedged in my pelvis. (I kept telling my OB she felt like she was going to fall out.) They had to get a pair of forceps around her head and we waited with baited breath.
Baker Bob was so excited to see a shock of dark hair appear he forgot to take a photo of her being born. I had to remind him to start taking photos. She weighed 3932gms and screamed her little lungs out. She was wrapped and we had a cuddle. Then my spinal block started to wear off on my right side.
I could feel them stitching me up. They quickly injected with some drug and I almost instantly passed out. I couldn't keep my eyes open, I couldn't talk or lift my arms and Baker Bob and Eva were ushered out of the room.
About 10mins later, having recovered my senses, I joined them both in recovery were I got to give Eva her first breastfeed, something that was denied me with the boys. Both Eva and my blood glucose levels were completely fine after her birth and we were due to go home 3 nights after the c/section.
I missed the boys dreadfully while in hospital even though I saw them everyday, but it was nice to have some one on one time with a newborn. Emotionally, logistically and physically it felt a lot easier. She was a brilliant baby in hospital, placid and content. That all changed when she got home but that's another blog entry!
Saturday, March 6, 2010
The Diva is Here.
Eva Betty Josephine arrived via c/section on the 24th February at 8:51am weighing 8'7" and 50cm long.
Birth story coming soon. Just need to find the time!!
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