I find that inspiration for blog entries tends to strike when I'm breastfeeding and although it kind of defeats the purpose of blogging I thought scribbling them down and typing them up later could kill two birds with one stone. I would be able to update my blog more often and it would make the time while breastfeeding go faster. Thinking let alone scribbling is not an option when trying to breastfeed with Mans and Linc climbing all over me but after their bed time, the time spent breastfeeding can really drag. (I do love 'bonding' with her but she's such a slow feeder).
Right off the line we hit a snag. It seems Eva doesn't want me to be distracted while she dozes on and off at the breast. However, I persevered and we seem to have come to a compromise. I won't accidently suffocate her while she eats if she doesn't wiggle around too much.
Having sprouted extra limbs to cope with 3 under 14 months, the logistics of writing while feeding isn't an issue. However Eva has gotten really big and really heavy. She seems massive and on Monday I got my suspicions confirmed. She's as big in weight and height as Linc was at 8 weeks! (She's 5 weeks) It feels wonderful to know that the breastmilk is actually doing what it's supposed to be doing this time around but I couldn't help feeling slightly disappointed.
I maybe paranoid for thinking this but I really didn't want my little girl to be bigger than her brothers. It just doesn't seem fair. There is so much importance put on a girls' sizes that I stress that she's is going to be teased. I really want to portray to my kids a positive body image, to be confident in who they are but even at this early age I can't help but worry. Is that wrong? And as my mum pointed out to me, if the size difference doesn't change, by the time she's 18 months they will probably be mistaken for triplets. Is that going to be a positive thing for them or have adverse effects?
We're getting lots of lovely responsive smiles and she's started making more noises than just different pitches of crying. She is adorable, most of the time and I love her to pieces. She's fit, healthy and happy. If I could just change society's views then I think I might actually be able to relax. How many years do you think that will take?