As I sit on the couch in the dark at 4 in the morning I realise with tired resignation that I have a huge decision to make.
Manning is lying in my arms almost back to sleep. His breathig calms and I get momentarily excited before he flays his arms around and grabs my chin or the neck of my top and his eyes flutter open and we start all over again.
I can hear Lincoln's light snoring in the other room and my bed beckons me back.
I need to weigh up my opinions.
a) Put Manning back to bed and hope that he's asleep enough that he's not going to wake completely and disturb Lincoln, meaning many more hours my bed will stay cold.
b) Go climb into my bed with Manning. I wouldn't be as comfortable and every time he stirred I'd wake up but at least I'd be horizontal and he won't wake Lincoln.
c) Do I watch the clock tick over a little longer and reevaluate (a) and (b), possibly wasting more sleep time.
My mind races. It's all just too hard sometimes.